


Betrayal Can Only Happen if You Love

by DarkJediQueen



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 17:49:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14938998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkJediQueen/pseuds/DarkJediQueen
Summary: There were ways to mess up and then there was fucking up.





	Betrayal Can Only Happen if You Love

**Author's Note:**

> My final offering for the Forever Angst Anniversary!
> 
> **Year** : Season 5 (2010) & 12 (2016)
> 
> **Spoilers** : Up Through Season 12
> 
> **Beta** : rivermoon1970 
> 
> rivermoon1970 does a lovely job of betaing my work but sometimes I add things after she's gone over it. 
> 
> Comments about grammar and mistakes will not be approved to be posted, no matter what else is in them.

Aaron sighed in dread as he entered the emergency room. He was directed back to the room where Jack was and stopped dead when he opened the door found Jack and Jessica there. Where was Spencer? Dread started to fill Aaron's stomach and heart. He hadn't known if he wanted to see Spencer or not before that moment. Aaron had never regretted a thing that he had done in his life until he had that screaming rant at Spencer over the phone. It couldn't be called a screaming match because Spencer had just listened and took it before he had told Aaron what hospital they were at in a voice that Aaron had only heard when Spencer was talking to an UnSub.

"He's fine, Aaron. A break in his arm right near the wrist. Exactly like Spencer said." There was nothing in her voice condemning him. Spencer hadn't told. Aaron didn't really expect him to. Spencer didn't tell personal things to anyone. Even Aaron had a hard time getting him to admit to anything that was personal about his life before the team and even things while they had worked together.

"Where is Spencer?" Aaron asked, ashamed of how angry he had got. The words he had spat were still ringing in his ears. He could remember every single one of them, and he knew that Spencer would never forget them as well. As time went the sting would go away but that would be it. The pain would be gone but not forgotten.

"He said he was going to go home." That time told Aaron that she knew something was wrong, given Spencer had stayed with Jack at the hospital after Haley's death while they were both checked out. And the boy had been fine then.

Aaron stepped up to his son who was lying back on the bed. Aaron could see how swollen Jack's head was from the impact of his head on the steps and he could see a missed patch of blood in his hair. His arm was wrapped in a splint to be put in a case later. Jack was asleep, probably emotionally exhausted from the day.

"I've seen Spencer in an array of moods since I met him at the funeral," Jessica said as her hand caressed Jack's unbroken arm. "Sad, happy, and everything in between. Today though was...I couldn't tell what his emotion was. If I were honest with myself, it was a complete lack of emotion. Like he'd shut down."

"I was not the nicest on the phone," Aaron admitted. Jessica was so entrenched in their lives. She had been so worried when Aaron had started a relationship with anyone, that the new person might be the one to watch Jack when Aaron was working away on cases. Aaron had kept who it was a secret until both Aaron and Spencer were ready to tell her. It was nice, having her on their side for a while before life had started to impact them. Spencer wasn't ready to tell the team, even though Aaron knew that this was going to be it for him, Spencer was the last love of his life. Aaron worried about what that meant, and now he was afraid that he had let that fear of what that meant to Spencer worry him too much. It was nice not having the team intrude on the relationship, especially with the pressure from above Aaron to get the unit back on an even keel after Foyet and the aftermath of that. Rocking the boat with a personal relationship could be the straw that broke the camel's back.

"What do you mean?"

"If he had told me in person what happened with Jack, he'd never want to be around me again. I don't blame him if he doesn't just based just on what I said." Aaron was already planning to talk to a therapist. He never wanted to hear that dead voice Spencer had spoken in when he was talking to someone outside of a case. Aaron knew Spencer was mad. But Spencer didn't talk to people when he was mad. He analyzed his own emotions first, then what caused it, and only when he was calm did he confront it. Aaron, it was a learned trait from dealing with his mother. Spencer made sure that he was prepared for whatever outcome he could see coming. In any other circumstance, it was a good thing but right now when Aaron was the one waiting to find out what was going to happen, it was pure torture. Aaron wasn't even sure if he deserved to be allowed to even touch Spencer on the back in the course of a case anymore. He felt like he had broken something beautiful that was never going to be able to be fixed.

"Aaron." Jessica looked upset, but Aaron wasn't going to tell her what he said.

"No. Jessica. Don't. I know what I said, and I am not repeating it to where Jack can hear if he didn't hear me yelling over the phone." Aaron had never thought that would be him. That he would or even could say things like that to someone he loved. Aaron could only chalk it up to fear, and even then he didn't like it. He had just lost Haley, and Jack had been gone from him. It was no excuse, though but it gave him a starting point. He had had a lot of making up to do. He needed to beg for Spencer's forgiveness. He would understand though if the younger man was packing his things to leave.

"Jack didn't want Spencer to leave, but Spencer said that he would be back." Jessica hadn't balked at finding out the night of the funeral that Spencer was living with Aaron. They had been dating since the day he had signed the divorce papers. He'd been truthful with the younger man, he hadn't thought he was going to get what he wanted.

Aaron hadn't been in love with Haley for a while, but he had been willing to stay with her for Jack's sake. He hadn't minded that she was cheating on him. He took his vows seriously but could understand that she needed someone. Spencer had come to him after the rest of the team refused to tell him what the kissing song meant. Aaron hadn't been shocked he didn't know it. Spencer had jumped six grades, right through when his peers would have been singing that song.

They had ended up getting dinner after he signed the papers. That had turned into a nightcap inside Spencer's apartment. Which turned into making out on the couch. It was slow after that. Aaron had learned that the team's view of the genius was very skewed and that academics had interesting takes on sex and stress relief. He was reasonably sure that other than Dave, Spencer had the most interesting college experience.

Moving in together came after Spencer had been shot and Aaron stabbed. Between the two of them, they had taken care of each other in the aftermath of Foyet. Aaron had almost grounded Spencer when he found out that he had lied about being cleared to fly, but Spencer said that he would stay at the station and be better than Aaron had been in the aftermath of the New York bombing. There was the unspoken threat of Foyet as well. That he didn't want to be so far from the team while injured and feared that with Haley and Jack out of reach, Foyet could go after Spencer. Foyet hadn't realized what Spencer was to Aaron or he hadn't cared. When Spencer could handle the stairs to his apartment again, Aaron hadn't wanted him to leave. Then Haley died and Spencer just never left. He sublet his place to a grad student and put his books in storage until bookshelves had been purchased to fit them in Aaron's office. Jack had liked having Spencer there in the aftermath of his mother dying. The permanent change of address had only raised a single eye from Strauss, but when she saw how attached Jack was to Spencer, she only told him he was a wonderful father to make Jack happy like that. Aaron still wasn't sure if Strauss really thought that they were still friends or not. The Strauss that had talked to Aaron in the aftermath of Foyet murdering Haley had been a very different woman. Aaron wasn't sure if he liked her or not.

Jack twitched on the bed and Aaron smiled as he opened his eyes. He looked away, his eyes looking for Spencer. "Is Spencer not back yet?"

Aaron reached for Jack, but the boy moved away from him, protecting his broken arm. Jessica's eyes went wide, but she didn't say anything. Aaron knew then that Jack had heard him. Aaron had already figured out what to do. Jack would be better at home and not with someone who scared him, even if he would remember in a few seconds that his father had never hurt him. It was a reaction to being upset and scared of what had already happened to him. Aaron had never wanted Jack to ever feel fear from him. It nearly broke Aaron's heart to smile at his son and try and reassure with no words that everything was fine.

"How about I have Aunt Jessica call Spencer? He can take you home." Aaron smiled his softest at Jack and took a step back. To give the boy room.

"Where will you go?" Jack asked eyeing him like a scared animal would a predator like the animal knew that the predator was a predator but so far the predator hadn't made an aggressive move. That look should never be on his face. He never wanted to think that he could put that look on a child’s face. On his child’s face.

"I'll go stay with Uncle Dave until Spencer lets me come back home. Aunt Jessica can sign your papers while I home and get my things."

"You weren't nice to Spencer." Jack looked brave saying it, but Aaron could see the fear in his eyes.

"No. I wasn't. I'll apologize to him he's ready. I'm sorry I scared you." Aaron put all of his feelings behind the words even though he knew that only actions were going to work.

"Spencer told me not to run on the steps. That they were wet and slick."

"I know." Aaron wasn't sure how the team was going to take Spencer being gone for a day or so. It wasn't going to be hard to figure out that Spencer taking time off right when Jack's arm got broke and Aaron wasn’t. The team would start to circle and speculate. Aaron wasn't even sure if Dave knew about them. He had thought that maybe it was a yes but the man should have made a comment about it. Unless for once he was being a good person and leaving something alone that he didn't really need to have his nose in.

"I don't like you right now." Jack looked away from Aaron and sighed. "But I still love you."

"I love you, too. I don't like myself either at the moment." Aaron nodded at Jessica, and she pulled out her phone.

"Spencer?" Jessica asked. There was a frown on her face. "Where are you?" The look on her face darkened. "Aaron would like you to come back. He's going to go home and pack to stay at Dave's, and you and Jack are going to go home." She smiled and nodded even though Spencer couldn't see. "Yes. Calm." Her eyes moved to Jack. "Wary. I can sign the paperwork. He just wants to make sure you aren't going run into one another at home. I'll tell him. See you soon."

Jessica hung up and looked Jack. "He's at the gym. He's going to shower and then be back, Jack. He said that he's more than willing to go to a hotel." Jessica looked up at Aaron for the last statement.

"Jack will rest better at home. Just let me know when he has appointments for the next day or two. You or I can take him." Aaron turned to Jack. "Can I give you a goodnight kiss?"

Jack eyed him for a second before nodding. Aaron leaned in and kissed Jack's forehead. His son wrapped his good arm around him for a hug. Aaron didn't want to leave, he didn't, but he knew that right now, Jack wouldn't rest without Spencer and that Aaron would just make him more upset. It hurt to walk away from Jack while he was lying there in that hospital bed. It hurt just as much as watching Haley walk away with Jack with the Marshalls but once again it was the best thing.

Aaron stopped at the nurse's desk to sign whatever was needed to get a cast for Jack and to make sure that Jessica wouldn't have to worry about too much.

"Ma'am," Aaron said when he signed the last release form. The nurse looked up at him from where she was typing something in. "Do you have grief or crisis counselors here? Or know of some good ones?"

The nurse's eyes softened, and Aaron looked at her name tag. Aurora, like Jack's favorite Disney Princess.

"We do, but I think that you would do better with someone not attached to the hospital. There is a doctor that we call when we get cops in here."

"And how do you know that I would do better with that doctor?" Aaron asked.

"Young Jack told us all about his two fathers who are heroes in the FBI. Let me find the doctor's card." The nurse opened up a drawer, and Aaron saw several rubber banded sets of cards. She grabbed a set that was tan in color and pulled one out. Steven Hanners. Aaron swallowed. "Doctor Hanners has a voice mail service for new clients to call at any time of day. The number is on the back. There is a second number that's for current clients. Give him a call. He'll help you."

"Thanks." Aaron tapped the card on the counter before he pushed off. Aaron looked into the room where Jack was. Seeing him laying on his side with a stuffed bear in his good arm. Spencer had won that stupid bear for Jack while teaching him about carnivals and how most of the games were rigged. That Jessica had brought it meant that Spencer had called her right after talking to Aaron, knowing that Jack would want it for more than just his broken arm.

Outside, Aaron debated getting into the car and making the call, but the cold felt good. Aaron pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number. There was a single ring before an answering machine picked up.

"Doctor Hanners, my name is Aaron Hotchner. I'm an agent in the FBI. I need help. I need more help than I thought. I did something tonight that I don't think can be forgiven for by my partner and by extension my son. I don't know what else to do but seek help. So, I'm hoping you can help me." Aaron rattled off his number twice and uttered a goodbye. Aaron hung up the phone and looked up into the sky. It was starting to snow. There was a small park-like area in a little alcove of the hospital, and Aaron walked over to it and sat down. He pressed his phone to his forehead and tried to figure out what he was going to do. Going to Dave's meant telling the man why he wasn't welcome at home. Why he had made himself unwelcome at home. He had no clue what to do.

Aaron was almost on the edge of tears when his phone rang. It was Dave. He had been outside for over an hour.

"Hotchner," Aaron said really hoping that a case hadn't popped up.

"Aaron, so I got a bizarre text from Reid that you and Jack needed a place to stay for a night. He told me where you were and how you might not like to drive and I have to say you being at the hospital and not being able to go home, I'm a little worried."

"Fuck," Aaron said. He inhaled and exhaled. "Did he tell you anything else?"

"No. Aaron?"

"I'm fine, and my apartment is fine. Jack was playing today, and he didn't heed the words said to him and ran on stairs that were slick with the ice and snow. He's got broken arm and a goose egg on his head that is going to look a lot worse than it is. Jessica is in the room in the ER with him while I am outside of the hospital trying to figure out how to call and tell you that I needed a place to crash."

"You said you, not you and Jack. Why would you think that you needed a place to crash?"

"Because I had thought that Jack would be going home to the apartment with Spencer."

"Spencer...I well I don't know what to say to that but why would Jack go to your apartment with Reid and you here?"

"Because Jack doesn't want to be alone with me and I didn't want to ask Jessica to stay the night with us. I thought that Jack was going with Spencer, but it seems that he's talking to Jack right now or has already."

"Why wouldn't Jack want to be alone with you?"

"Where are you?" Aaron asked because he was tired of talking on the phone. He was just plain tired.

"I'm actually standing outside the hospital ER doors."

"You know the little park area? That's where I am." Aaron hung up and hoped that Dave came to him. He settled down on the bench more and looked up at the lights that were coming from the rooms with the curtains open. He heard Dave's boots on the snow before he heard Dave's mutterings about his boots being ruined. Aaron looked at Dave.

"So you have me out in the cold. What's going on?"

"I've called a crisis and grief counselor who focuses on cops and agents. I need the help of some kind and the bureau mandated counseling after Haley's death doesn't seem to have helped my fear of losing Jack. Spencer called to tell me what happened to Jack, who has been told all the time by me, by Jessica, and by Spencer on many occasions, not to run on the steps. Today I was doing some catch-up work so that I could have tomorrow totally off and not have to go into the office and Spencer was watching Jack. The best name that I called Spencer in the rant I yelled at him over the phone was stupid. I came to visit Jack and Spencer wasn't there, he had left before I got there. I talked with Jessica, and we thought that going home with Spencer might be the best option, but it seems that Spencer is refusing that. So either Jack wants to go and stay with you or Spencer thinks it's the best option."

"I know that I don't have the full scope of Reid's relationship with his father, but there is no part of what I know that would tell me that he would agree to take Jack from you for any reason unless you were an actual threat to him and I don't think that you are. A threat to yourself yes but never Jack. So let Reid cool down and give it a few days. We aren't back to work until Monday, that's two full days for him to calm down."

"You make it seem like I can fix this. Dave, you don't understand what I said to him."

"I'm sure that it's not as bad as you are making it seem."

"Dave, I told him that it was a good thing that he didn't have children because they would probably be the most messed up children ever. That he was the worst negligent person in the world. And that's the parts I feel like repeating. I basically told him that he would get any child of his killed with negligence if it wasn't for the other parent."

"Well...you really go for it, don't you. I give you points for going for the parts that are the weakest for him." Dave slumped down onto the bench across from Aaron. "I don't know what to tell you, Aaron other than try and prove to Jack that you aren't going to hurt him. Why is he scared of you, to begin with?"

"He heard me yelling at Spencer. He said I was mean to Spencer. He actually flinched away from me in the ER."

"Yeah, I think that a sleepover at my house tonight is the best thing. Why don't we go and collect your son then we can go to the apartment and get things for the both of you."

"That sounds good."

Dave was silent as they made their way back inside the ER. Jack was sitting up on the bed with his hand and arm still wrapped in the splint, but this time he had a sling on it. The bear was tucked under his good arm, and there were tear tracks on his face. Jessica looked distraught. Aaron wanted to be pissed at Spencer, but as Dave pointed out, Spencer would rather have Jack upset at him than Aaron since Aaron was the biological father. Aaron's heart broke at the thought that in a single moment of utter insanity he had ruined a relationship that he had spent years building up. Spencer had been so unsure of himself in the beginning, in being around Jack and acting anything remotely like an adult that was in charge around the boy when he had been a toddler.

"Spencer said that I would be better with you, Dad," Jack said, his breath hitching a little like he was fighting tears. Aaron couldn't take it. He stepped over to Jack and picked his son up, cuddling Jack into his chest on the good side.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I'll make this up to you. I promise."

Jack sobbed into Aaron's neck. Aaron realized that he had hurt Spencer a lot more than he thought if the young man wasn't even willing to watch Jack overnight. There were a lot of things swirling in Aaron's mind as Jessica finished off the paperwork for Jack's release. Dave was silent as they made their way out to the parking lot that led to the ER entrance. Aaron looked for Dave's car but didn't find it.

"I was out with a friend, and he dropped me off. I'll drive." Dave held his hand out for the keys, and Aaron fished them out of his pants and dropped them into Dave's hand. Jack had cried himself to sleep in the short distance out of the ER.

"I'll get the prescription filled and drop them off. I'll text to find out where you are."

"You are more than welcome to stay at my place as well, Jessica."

"I think that maybe Aaron and Jack need some time alone to deal with this."

"I called a counselor, Jessica," Aaron said.

"Good."

"If he wants to meet this weekend, would you be willing to watch Jack?"

"Of course. Good luck, Aaron." Jessica gave Aaron a doe-eyed look before she turned to find her car. Dave unlocked Aaron's car and opened up the back door to allow Aaron to slip into the back seat. Aaron couldn't buckle in so when Dave finally pulled into traffic, he was happy that Dave didn't drive like he usually did. Aaron had a go bag in the car, so he wasn't worried about things for himself, so it only took a little time to get Jack some things from his room. Aaron looked at the books on the nightstand. There were two. One for when Aaron was the one to read to Jack and one that was from when Spencer did. Aaron grabbed his book and slipped it into the top of the bag before closing it. Jack was still asleep on the couch where Aaron laid him down to get his things, and Aaron really hoped that he stayed asleep until morning. The pain medication that the doctor had given Jack was supposed to help him sleep and to last until early in the morning.

"Got everything?" Dave asked from where he was stayed put in the living room. Aaron could tell he was trying hard not to be nosy. Aaron could tell that a few things were messed with though. There was a picture that wasn't facing the right way. Aaron nodded though in answer to Dave's question and handed over Jack's bag. Dave took it and walked to the door while Aaron was lifting up Jack.

Aaron got into the back seat of his car again with Jack plastered to him. Aaron looked at the parking area as they passed it and saw that Spencer's car wasn't there. Aaron remembered going with him to pick out the car because the Amazon wasn't really good to take Jack in and Spencer didn't want to ever take a chance with Jack.

"So," Dave started as they were stopped at a light a few blocks from his place. Aaron looked up into the rearview mirror and saw that Dave was looking at him. "Given the state of your apartment, you've been living with him."

"Ever since I was stabbed and he was shot."

"So about six months. I remember Morgan making the comment that in the wake of Reid getting shot he went to stay with a friend and told the team they didn't need to worry about him."

"We decided that taking care of each other was better than him trying to negotiate those steps at his building. When it was time for him to go home, I didn't want him to, and we talked. He sublets the apartment to a grad student. Strauss knows that he lives with me, but it's unsure exactly what she thinks. She told me I was a great father for making Jack happy."

"And tonight you shattered his trust in himself as a parent, his thoughts on how much you trust him as a parent to Jack and even your love of him."

"Yes." Aaron watched the streetlights as they passed by them.

"You know in situations like this, Go Big or Go Home is not a good idea." If it weren't for Dave's grave tone, Aaron would suspect he was trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah."

* * *

Jack woke seven times in the night with a nightmare, each time he asked for Spencer, and it broke Aaron's heart each time to tell him that Spencer wasn't there. Jack would cling tighter to Aaron and fall asleep many minutes later.

Aaron woke up long past his normal wake-up time and felt like he had not slept at all. Dave's guest bed was perfect. It was nice and comfortable, but it wasn't Aaron's and Spencer wasn't in it.

Leaving Jack to try and get some more sleep, Aaron shuffled down to the kitchen. Dave was standing in front of the coffee pot and had an envelope in his hand.

"What's that?"

"This arrived by certified courier about an hour ago. Well, there are two. One for Jack and one for you. It's Reid's handwriting."

Dave handed over the letter, and Aaron saw that the other was sitting at the table where there was a kid's bowl and several choices of cereal. Aaron ripped the seal on the envelope and unfolded the letter.

_Dear Aaron,_

_While we were laid up with our injuries, I consulted on a few cases for the CIA. I was sort of shoehorned in on the things that Gideon did for them over the years. They have been asking me for a few weeks to help them with a profile on a killer and I keep putting them off. I called after I talked to Jessica and let them know that as long as I was back Monday in time for work, I would consult._

_I have never questioned my worth as an agent before, and I have never doubted my value as a human being previously. Until last night. I don't know what is going through your head and I don't understand what I did wrong in our relationship._

_I have never been more scared in my life than when Jack took off running, and I realized the moment that he lost control. I wasn't scared that you would hate me. I was afraid of Jack being hurt and seeing the pain in your eyes as your son laid in a hospital bed. I never expected your reaction, and I don't know if that makes me a lousy profiler or a horrible partner._

_Jack needs you more than he needs me in his life and I would rather cut ties now before the bonds become too strong than to have to sever them later when it would hurt more._

_I love Jack with all of my heart, but I refuse to stay in a relationship that has such a distinct disadvantage. As an agent you made me accept nothing less than what I deserve, whether it was how other agents treat me or what I should have in my private life._

_You have the key to my storage unit, and I think that the majority of my things will fit in there. While I am gone, please box up everything of mine and put it in there. Give the key to Rossi afterward. If something doesn't fit, give it to him as well._

_Spencer_

Aaron knew that he was crying as he read over the letter. He could feel the tears on his cheeks and saw a few dot the paper. He handed it over to Dave and dropped into a chair at the bar. It was ingrained in him to always do what the other wanted. He gave Haley the divorce she wanted, he never maligned her character over the affairs that she had. She wanted the house, and she got it. She got the car and everything that she wanted in the divorce. Aaron wasn't going to do that with Spencer. He wasn't going to let Spencer just leave.

The ringing of his phone pulled Aaron away from where he was watching Dave read the letter.

"Hotchner," Aaron said not even looking at the number.

"Agent Hotchner, this is Stephan Hannes. I would gladly take you on as a patient. My only office is in my house, but I can meet you wherever you want for the first meeting, even if it's at your house."

"I'm staying with a friend at the moment. If you don't mind coming here." Aaron gave the doctor Dave's address and looked at Dave who just raised an eyebrow.

"That's actually not too far from where I live. I can be there in fifteen minutes."

"Now?" Aaron asked.

"You sounded very much in distress last night, and I know of your job, Agent Hotchner. I have had a patient inside of the BAU before."

"Shit," Aaron said. He hung his head.

"Agent Hotchner?"

"There is only a single agent that I can see reaching out for help on the team and it being a doctor like you and I'm afraid that it means that I can't see you."

"Why not?"

"Because that partner that I mentioned is that person."

"I see. Well, that explains the call I got. Agent Hotchner, I have treated couples before. I'm not like a lawyer where I can't represent both sides. Your partner, if you were correct cannot meet with me until Monday due to something work-related and given that I know you are not working at the moment, I would say that it has to do with another agency. I do have clearance to work with the FBI, CIA, NSA, and even Homeland Security. How about we meet at this friend's house and we can discuss me taking you on and if you feel like you don't want me, I can give you the name of a close colleague that you might like."

"Sure. I'll get dressed. Thank you." Aaron hung up and hung his head before sighing.

"With your luck this weekend, Aaron, I am not shocked that you called Reid's doctor. I'll worry about feeding Jack breakfast. You worry about getting your head on right because this letter tells me that Reid is done. He's gone into protection mode, but it's protecting himself."

"He didn't say it in the letter, but he doesn't trust me now. I want to give him what he wants so that I don't break what little trust he still has in me but Dave I can't let him leave without fighting."

"Ask the doctor what he thinks. He can give you an honest opinion without breaking doctor-patient confidentiality."

Aaron nodded.

* * *

Aaron swallowed as he looked at the time. It was almost time for Jack's appointment with the ortho doctor, and Spencer still wasn't there. Jessica had messaged Spencer the time and told him that Jack wanted him there, and Jack did. Jessica didn't lie. It was just assumed that if Spencer was wanted there that Aaron wouldn't be.

Jack was curled into Aaron's body, his aching, but thankfully a lot less swollen, arm was tucked in the sling and protected.

"Hotch," Spencer said as he opened the door. There was no one else in the place yet as Aaron had scored a before normal hours visit time.

"Spencer!" Jack jumped out of Aaron's lap and ran to Spencer. Spencer crouched down and picked up Jack hugging him tight on one side but not hurting his hurt arm. "I missed you. Did you catch your bad guy?"

"I did. He's in jail where he belongs."

"Jack?" A nurse called out from the door that Aaron hadn't heard open.

"You are coming back right?" Jack asked Spencer. Spencer looked at Aaron before looking back at Jack.

"Yes."

"Good because I need your help picking a color. Daddy says I should pick black since it goes with everything. But I don't want to wear black for weeks. It'll be depressing."

"Well, let's see what colors they have." Spencer started toward where the nurse was, and Aaron wanted to touch. He wanted to pull Spencer into his arms and tell him that he loved him. He wanted to do a lot of things, but he didn't. Aaron stayed a respectful distance back though.

They were shown into a room that was full of colorful images around the border on light blue colored walls. Jack pointed to where he wanted Spencer to sit and didn't get out of his lap. Aaron took the empty seat beside him.

"Did everything go okay?" Aaron asked.

"It went fine. I can't talk about it."

"I know but you...you were safe right?" Aaron asked.

"I never left the office I was at." There was a small change in his voice, and Aaron felt Spencer's gaze turn to him. "I was safe."

"Good," Aaron's voice broke a little on the word. Before anything else could be said, the door opened, and a doctor and the same nurse came into the room.

"Mister Hotchner, you did a number on your arm. Do you mind if I have you sit up here?" The doctor patted the table that was padded. Jack shook his head no. He pressed into Spencer like he was scared. "My name is Jack Sinclair, and this is my nurse Peggy."

"My first name is Jack," Jack said.

"Really?" Doctor Sinclair looked at the file in his hand and recoiled from it in shock. "So it is. That's really cool. So you want to stay right there in your..."

"Spencer. He's my Spencer."

"In your Spencer's lap. That's okay, but you have to hold really still when I am looking at your arm and especially when I am unwrapping it. If your arm moves, I can hurt it worse. Can you stay still?"

"Yes, Sir."

"You can call me Jack, Jack."

Jack giggled.

"I'm going to take your arm out of the sling unless you want your Spencer to do it."

"Please?" Jack asked as he looked up at Spencer.

"Of course," Spencer said. He carefully worked the strap of the sling off of Jack's head and then gently moved the body of the sling off of Jack's arm.

"Okay, now it's time to get a look at this arm. Jack, I'm going to carefully unwrap your arm so that I can look at it. Now, I'm going to try my hardest to not hurt you, but if I do, I want to say that I am sorry and you need to tell me if I do."

"Okay." Jack held out his good hand to Aaron and Aaron covered it with both of his hands.

Jack was still as Doctor Sinclair worked on unwrapping his wrist. He stayed stiller than when Aaron had to do it to tighten it twice a day to keep it from loosening while the swelling went down. Aaron wasn't sure if it was the doctor telling him to be still or Spencer holding him.

Spencer hissed when Jack's very bruised wrist was revealed. Aaron watched him drop a kiss on Jack's head and wrap his free arm tight around Jack's middle.

"Your dad has been good at making sure that the wrap is nice and tight like it's needed. You are going to have to have a cast. Peggy has a chart of colors if you want them."

"Purple?" Jack asked.

"We have light purple and dark purple," Peggy said.

"Dark. It's my Spencer's favorite color."

Aaron risked a glance up at Spencer's face and saw that he was near tears. Jack held himself extra still as the soft wrap was applied to his skin first.

"Your insurance covers the waterproof cast, so that's what I am going to go with. The instructions for care will be with everything else. So Jack, what sports do you like?" Sinclair kept Jack distracted as he wrapped the cast material around the arm next. Jack prattled on about the soccer team he had been on, and the doctor never asked about where the other place was. Aaron was already looking for a place for Jack to do soccer in the spring.

"Agent Hotchner," Peggy said catching Aaron's attention. She had a file in her hand. "We can handle the paperwork while Spencer is with Jack if that's okay with you."

"Sure." Aaron looked at Spencer to make sure it was okay with him, and Spencer nodded.

By the time that Aaron was done signing all the paperwork and getting the care instructions as well as a list of hand things that Jack can do when it doesn't hurt to do it anymore to keep his hand muscles from atrophying, Spencer was carrying Jack out of the room with his dark purple cast.

"Daddy! Look!" Jack raised up his arm to show off the cast.

"That's great buddy. So we need to stop by the store and get a marker."

"Why?"

"So that people can sign your cast."

"Spencer will you be first?" Jack asked.

"Sure, Jack. I actually think I have a silver marker in my car. It's to write on dark things. We can go down there and get it."

"You are set to go, Agent Hotchner," Peggy said with a smile toward Jack. "And you Mr. Jack, you be good and listen to what your Spencer and your father tell you. You gotta take care of your arm so that it can get better so you can play soccer in the spring."

"Yes, Miss Peggy." Jack nodded solemnly and cuddled down into Spencer.

Aaron held the door open for Spencer and Jack, and when they were on the other side of the outer office door, Aaron laid his hand on Spencer's lower back. Spencer stiffened but didn't say a thing. Aaron took it as a small win. There wasn't a long walk to the elevator in the building so when they entered it, Aaron had to take his hand off, and Spencer pressed himself into the far corner so that Aaron would have to walk across it after hitting the button for the ground floor.

"Dad promised me breakfast after I saw the doctor just in case when he was taking off my wrap on my arm, the pain didn't make me puke. It hurt but not a lot. Are you going to come to breakfast with us?"

"I need to get to work, Jack. Maybe in a day or two, I can do dinner with you and Jessica."

"A day or two?" Jack asked.

"Spencer," Aaron said but the doors opened, and a woman got onto the elevator with them. Aaron knew not to talk about personal things with someone else on the elevator, Spencer was already pissed enough at him. The lady rode all the way down with them. Jack was laying on Spencer with his casted arm thrown over his back. Spencer still had the sling folded and sticking out of a pocket. Aaron followed the pace that Spencer had set as the walked through the parking garage for the medical facility.

"I'll be better," Jack said when Spencer set him down on his feet outside of Spencer's car.

"What?" Spencer and Aaron asked at the same time.

"I won't do anything bad again. I'll eat all my vegetables and even the nasty lima beans. I'll eat everything that anyone gives me. I'll ask before I do anything. Please, Spencer, don't leave me."

"I'm not leaving you, Jack. I have a doctor of my own to see tonight and possibly tomorrow. That's why a day or two."

"You didn't come to Uncle Dave's last night."

"No." Spencer crouched down in front of Jack and wiped the few tears that had traveled down his face. "Jack, you are a perfect little boy. Accidents happen. If you had known that doing what you were going to do would have done this would you have done it?"

"No. It really hurt."

"And now you know."

"Dad yelled at you because of me."

"No, Jack," Aaron said. He didn't care what Spencer said, he crouched down beside Spencer and turned Jack's face to look at him. "No, Jack. It was not because of you, and it was not because of Spencer. Do you remember that man that came over to talk to me on Saturday? He's a special kind of doctor that helps people when they are sick in ways that can't be seen. I should have never yelled at Spencer, no matter what the reason. I could have yelled at him for anything, it just happened to be over you, but it's not your fault."

"But Spencer left like Mommy did. When you stopped living with us. I don't want Spencer to not live with us anymore." Jack flung his arms around Spencer before the younger man could stand up. Aaron dodged the casted arm and watched as Spencer wrapped Jack in his arms. Spencer looked at Aaron and Aaron could see tears in his eyes. Aaron stepped up and brushed those tears.

"Don't," Spencer whispered, and he sounded scared.

"Come home, and we can talk. Jack's due for some more medicine, and I already called Strauss and put the both of us out. Dave's handling the team. We need to talk because I refuse to let you leave."

"You refuse?" Spencer asked, sounding shocked.

"I let Haley walk away, but I'm not going to let you go without a fight."

"I'll meet you at the apartment." Spencer was looking at Jack, but he wasn't doing any of the tells that he had when he was lying. With Spencer there were many, and a lot depended on what he was lying about.

"I'll go with you," Jack said to Spencer. Aaron was thankful because he was afraid that Spencer would head to work anyway because Aaron wouldn't confront him there. Spencer looked at Aaron for a few seconds before he nodded. Spencer settled Jack into the back of his car, making sure that he was fastened correctly. Aaron wondered if it was something that Spencer always did or he was doing because of Aaron being right there.

Aaron opened Spencer's car door and held it for him. Spencer had never batted an eye at before. This time he looked at Aaron a little incredulous. Aaron wanted to lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek, but he stopped himself. When Spencer was buckled, Aaron shut the door before starting toward his own vehicle.

Spencer made it to the apartment before Aaron but was slow to get out of the car and slow to get Jack out so that by the time that Aaron made it to the elevator, Spencer was just getting there as well. Spencer stayed behind Aaron, making him unlock the door. Jack had a marker in his hand, and Aaron realized it was the silver one that Spencer had talked about. Jack also had the sling on again.

"Are you hungry Jack?" Aaron asked. Jack had eaten a snack when he had woke up so that he didn't get an upset tummy by waiting to eat.

"Can I have a snack? I want to go to that place that Spencer takes us to for Sunday brunch."

"They do an early breakfast as well Jack. We could go right now," Spencer offered.

"Jack, please go to your room. After Spencer and I talk, we can head out to eat. How does that sound?"

"And Spencer's going to go?"

"Yes," Spencer answered.

Aaron watched Jack leave the room, seeming a little upset but Aaron wasn't going to have that talk with Jack around.

"I want to start with I am sorry. There was no cause for me to say anything that I did to you."

"You saw a counselor?"

"Yes." Aaron walked into the kitchen, hoping that Spencer would follow. He started a pot of coffee, the good kind that Spencer bought that was more expensive than what Aaron would buy for himself. It was Spencer's favorite though. After the pot was started, Aaron grabbed the letter from Doctor Hannes. "At the hospital, I asked the nurse for a crisis and grief counselor. She gave me a card, and I called. He came over first thing Saturday morning."

Aaron handed over the letter. Spencer looked down at it and then back up at Aaron.

"He didn't confirm you were his patient until he handed me this. I realized then that you have never talked about your counselor that you see more than needing to see him after some of the bad cases. He's offered to see us for a joint session. It's probably in the letter. He didn't tell me what was in it and I thought he was just writing notes until he folded it up and sealed it."

"He has perfect auditory recall. It's part of why I chose him after Georgia. He understands better than most what kind of issues I have with not being able to forget certain things. He's cleared for all of our cases. He keeps up with all of that as he sees many agents for all the lettered agencies in the area."

Spencer waited until the coffee was made before he fixed himself a cup and carried the letter out of the kitchen. Aaron made himself a cup before going into the living room. Spencer was curled in his reading chair, legs tucked up. Aaron loved watching him read when he was in that chair, but today he seemed unapproachable. Aaron hated that he had been the cause of that. The letter was on Spencer's knee, unopened.

"You aren't going to read it?"

"Why?" Spencer asked.

"Why what?"

"Why any of it? Why did you scream at me? Why did you say the horrible things you said? Why should I even entertain the thought of coming back and living here? Why should I listen to you? Why do you even think that you have the right to decide that you aren't going to let me go when I want to go? Just why?" Spencer was back to that calm again. Aaron knew that he would listen, but it was going to take a lot of time to fix what had been damaged.

"Up until that moment, I thought that I had dealt with Jack being taken from me for his own good. That I had dealt with the fact that he was in danger. That Foyet had him in his grasp. With the realization of what I said to you, I figured out that I haven't dealt with it."

Spencer said nothing as Aaron paused. Aaron sighed and took a drink of his coffee. He settled down onto the edge of the seat on the couch.

"Obviously, I have a few issues that I didn't know about. I have never been upset with anything that you have done with Jack or any decision you have made about Jack. Don't think that. If Jessica had been the one to call me, I would have done the same thing." Aaron waited. "Give me something here."

"I'm here, and I am listening."

Aaron knew that Spencer even being there was good, but he had nothing to go on. "But you aren't saying anything. Not even your body language is saying anything. It's like I am talking to myself."

"What do you want me to say? That I forgive you because I don't. Not yet. That I love you? I've loved you for years, and I thought I had finally given my heart to someone who wasn't going to break it. That we will get through this? I don't know if we will. You've seen a doctor once so far, anyone can do that. It's the keeping it up. It's figuring out how to never have it happen again."

"You ran!" Aaron near yelled. He stopped himself when he saw Spencer flinch and look scared. Aaron realized that he had stood up as well. Watching Spencer's hand twitch like he wanted to reach for a weapon. Spencer forced his hand to uncurl and grab the arm of the chair. Aaron sat down, and he knew that demanding wasn't going to get him anywhere.

"I didn't feel safe, Aaron. Am I supposed to go somewhere that I don't feel safe? This is your home, and there was nothing I could do to stop you from coming back here, and I would never want to. Jack is your son and leaving him with me was not a good idea. No matter how sorry you feel, saying it isn't going to make this go away. I gave Jack a way to get a hold of me if he needed that wasn't my cell phone. I told him that I loved him no matter what and that me leaving you, if I did, wasn't a reflection on him and it didn't mean that I wasn't going to see him again. I knew you would never keep him from me."

"Do you want to leave me?" Aaron asked.

"I don't know." Spencer wasn't looking at Aaron at all. He was looking at his fingers that were tracing nonsense patterns on his knee. Aaron got to his knees on the floor and shuffled around the coffee table. As soon as he rounded the last corner, Spencer's eyes shot up and locked onto him. Spencer's hand stopped tracing patterns, and his other gripped the arm of the chair, hard.

"I don't want you to leave me, Spencer. You are right that I can't make you stay and I don't want to force you." Aaron settled on his knees right in front of Spencer, holding up his hand and letting it hover over Spencer's knee. Spencer watched it, but he didn't try to move away.

Spencer swallowed. He turned the hand that was on his knee up, and Aaron laid his hand over Spencer's palm.

"I never wanted to see anyone that I loved scared of me, Spencer. I try so hard not to be my father. I realized when I was talking to Doctor Hannes that I'm just as bad as him. I don't talk about any of my problems with anyone. Jack was taken from me, and while it wasn't at the hands of an UnSub, it was because of one. My ex-wife was killed, and I never talked about it. We all talk about the things with strangers, but I didn't even try and talk to you about it. I told you I had been to the sessions as mandated and I thought I was fine."

"I should have pushed," Spencer said as he raised up their joined hands. Spencer rubbed Aaron's back of his hand across his cheek. "You had been so out of control for a little after Jack was put into WitSec. You had a bump getting used to Jack living with us full time, and I assumed that when we hit the end of the bump things were fine."

"I forced everything to be fine." Aaron laid his head down on the small junction between Spencer's knees, and he laid his arms on either side of Spencer's hips and legs. "I want you to tell me how you really feel."

"Hurt. I don't trust easily you know that and this hurt me a lot. I want to get past it, but I don't know. Even when you were upset at me for standing between the team and Owen, you never yelled. I could tell that I had scared you and I hated that but you never punished me for it or the things that led up to it. I never expected it at all from you, and I think that's why it hurt so much. The only time I have ever seen you angry and mildly threatening was with Hardwick. You weren't toward me though, and I think it's why I never thought you would be."

"Can we fix this?" Aaron knew that he was a coward, not looking at Spencer as they talked but this could be one of the last times that he was allowed to be close and wanted to remember what Spencer felt like, what he smelled like.

"I want to, Aaron. You have to work through everything. I can't take another instance like that again, not directed at me and never at Jack. If the thought of Jack getting hurt while someone else is watching him will always do that, Aaron, I suggest never letting anyone else watch him. Jack loves life. He loves to play, and he plays hard. He's going to get hurt, especially if he keeps playing soccer. He's not going to be like me and will want to be indoors where you can always protect him."

"You said he was running on concrete steps?" Aaron still hadn't asked Jack what he had been doing to cause the accident, he hadn't wanted to remind Jack of the phone call that he heard while he and Spencer had been walking to the car to go to the ER.

"Yes. He was dancing and singing some Christmas song that I've never heard, and I kept telling him to watch it because whoever had salted the area had missed a lot of spots or people had brushed it all off walking. I was reaching for him to grab his arm to stop him from running and dancing on a set of long steps. I almost had him when he went down. Just a few seconds faster or a little bit closer. It's all I thought about every single night. I should have been closer to him. I should have yelled his name or made him stop."

"Where did you stay last night?" Aaron asked, his face still buried between Spencer's knees. He would wait to handle the thoughts of Spencer not feeling like he was enough.

"A professor at Georgetown who I guest lecture with is visiting her husband overseas for a few weeks. She had made a comment, and when I talked to her, she offered her place. I stayed at CIA headquarters while I was helping them, but I was unsure of where I even wanted to stay last night." Spencer sighed, and Aaron tensed until he felt a hand brush over his hair tentatively. The next sweep it was more firm and then carded through Aaron's short locks.

Aaron buried his head down a little further into Spencer's knees. He could almost think that he was stressed and this was Spencer comforting him. Aaron knew it wasn't though. He knew that they still had a lot to talk about. Aaron heard the letter being unfolded. Spencer's hand didn't stop at Aaron's hair.

"Doctor Hannes thinks that you are sincere in your want to get help and that he thinks that you are devastated by what you did. He has offered to do sessions with you and I after he's seen me."

"He said that he had a good baseline for me as you've talked about me over the years. I tried to have him get me another therapist, but he told me that he was sure that he was the best to handle what was going on."

"He knows that I wouldn't do a session with anyone else." Spencer's hand tightened in Aaron's hair and tugged on his head gently. Aaron raised his head up and looked at Spencer. Spencer cupped the sides of Aaron's face, and his thumbs brushed at the tears that were under Aaron's eyes that he didn't realize were there.

Aaron opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted with the growl of Spencer's stomach. Spencer gave Aaron a weak smile, and Aaron smiled back at him.

"Do you want to change?" Aaron asked. He sat up a little more, leaning back. "Shower?"

"No, I did that already when I woke up. I wouldn't mind changing. Should I pack a bag?"

"No, please don't. We can work something out. It's selfish I know, but I want you here. Even if it's just in the guest room."

"Okay."

"Thank you," Aaron whispered, and Spencer smiled at him, but it wasn't a pleasant smile. It wasn't a bad one, just a smile.

"Hmmm. I'll go change and get Jack from his room."

Aaron scooted back and stood up. He reached out a hand to help Spencer and Spencer eyed it for a few seconds before he placed his hand on Aaron's to be pulled up. Aaron kept a hold of Spencer's hand. Spencer eyed Aaron, but when Aaron tugged on his hand, Spencer stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Aaron in a hug. Aaron returned the hug and buried his face in Spencer's neck and breathed deep, holding in the sob that wanted that escape.

"I love you," Aaron whispered, and Spencer made a noise that Aaron would have dismissed if it hadn't been for the watery sound of it. Aaron didn't let go of Spencer until he was sure that neither of them was going to cry.

* * *

Jack rebounded easily. He didn't allow his broken arm to stop him. Even just three weeks after that night, Jack was back to his old self and was learning how to do things easily with his non-dominant arm. Spencer helped with that by teaching Jack different methods to do things and helping him get better at his writing skills with his left hand.

Aaron would come home from work to see the two of them sitting at the table working on things. Spencer usually had case files and Jack a workbook that Spencer had bought for him. Jack was in pre-school and went three days a week.

The team hadn't been told yet about the relationship. Aaron was leaving that to Spencer to decide because Aaron agreed that until they were back to normal, or whatever their new normal was going to be, it was best to not invite the team into their relationship. Aaron agreed with Spencer about that. It was better to have a united front against them because he was sure that the team would be very much up in their faces about everything. Aaron expected Morgan to watch him a lot closer after the revelation. There was a date though, three months out that even if they weren't back to normal, they were going to tell them.

"How is everything going today?" Aaron asked as he set down his briefcase on the table that Spencer had bought just for it inside the door. Spencer's messenger bag was sitting beside it.

"Good, Dad," Jack said. He looked up from where he was drawing something.

Aaron was an hour later than he had told Spencer that he would be and he had forgotten to text to tell him that he would be longer than he thought. Time had slipped away when he had been working on the new budget for the BAU as a whole as well as individual teams.

"Sorry, I'm late. I got caught up in paperwork." Aaron walked to the table and ruffled Jack's hair before kissing Spencer's cheek. Jack made an eww noise making Aaron laugh.

"Dinner is staying warm in the oven." Spencer was focused on whatever he was working on and didn't look at Aaron.

"What is it?" Aaron asked.

"Lasagna," Jack answered.

Aaron grabbed a mitt and opened the oven to find that it was lasagna and it looked really good. Spencer had to have started to work on it as soon as he got home. Spencer had been leaving right when the work day was done, some days he cooked, and other's they ate takeout. At least one day a week, Spencer did some kind of meal in the crock pot while they were at work. Aaron was good at cooking, but Spencer liked to do it, so Aaron let him. The nights that Spencer was too tired to and Aaron felt like it, he would cook them dinner.

A glass of milk was already poured in the fridge as well, so Aaron grabbed it and put it on the table across from Spencer and besides Jack. Aaron saw that Spencer was working on a case file from a case that was months before. He frowned because Spencer was the only one on the team that Aaron never had to bug for files because half of the time he finished them within two hours of landing or getting into the work the next day if they got home late.

"What's that?" Aaron asked.

"The file was kicked back to me for further clarification on some points that I made."

"That case file of yours was already seventeen pages long with the explanation of what the UnSub did and why. What more do they want clarification on?"

Spencer didn't answer but handed over a sheet of paper with the information on it from where the file had been sent back. Aaron read it over, and while the words were nice, there was something else going on. Aaron set down his plate of lasagna and sat down to read over the order from above.

"Did anyone else get that?"

"I didn't ask, but the mail person who brought it to me didn't take anything outside of standard mail to the rest of the team."

"Weird," Aaron said.

Spencer just shrugged.

"Do you mind if I read the file when you are done? See if I can figure out why?"

"Sure. I'll drop it on your desk tomorrow after I type everything up."

"You are going to type it up?"

"It's not like I can't just recall the image of this," Spencer waved at the papers in front of him, "and do it all from memory. There are a few who don't like my penmanship. I think it's some who can't read cursive, but I can't be sure. So just in case, I type up things when I get called to expand more on files."

"This isn't the first time it's happened?" Aaron had never known about any of it. As Spencer's boss, Aaron should have known. The requests should have come through him.

"Usually one or two cases a year since Gideon left."

Aaron sat back and was a little shocked. He tucked into his food. Jack showing him what he was doing. Aaron knew that Spencer varied which book Jack worked out of but after dinner was always a page or two out of a workbook and Aaron could see the difference in his letters. Aaron would bring home papers and usually it was the three of them sitting at the table and all working on things for about half an hour. Spencer was usually homework for classes and Aaron something that had no pictures so that Jack wouldn't see them.

"So what do you want to do after I finish eating?" Aaron asked.

"I already got my bath," Jack said. He giggled and looked at Spencer. "I helped with the lasagna, and I got sauce on my face when I went to wipe off something, and my fingers were covered so after we finished Spencer put me in the bath while the food cooked. I was really good while eating and didn't get it everywhere. So Spencer said that we might have time for a movie."

"A movie sounds good."

"Yes it does," Spencer chimed in with a smile on his face.

When Aaron was almost done eating, he sent Jack into the living room to pick the movie. Jack was talking about the movies and drawing Aaron's attention to that when he turned back to grab his empty plate and glass only to find them already gone. Spencer was in the kitchen rinsing them and setting them in the dishwasher. Aaron stood up and moved into the kitchen. He stepped up behind Spencer and boxed the genius into the counter with hands on either side of his hips. Spencer stilled but didn't do anything else, so Aaron took it as permission to step up a little closer. As he did, Aaron wrapped his hands around Spencer's waist and laid his head down on Spencer's shoulder.

Physical intimacy like that was something that Aaron missed, but Spencer was allowing more and more. Spencer was still sleeping in the guest room. Aaron missed him in bed with him, but he knew that trust was still being slowly rebuilt and he would never demand that Spencer come back to their bed before he was ready. Aaron had two sessions with Doctor Hannes a week, case depending, and sometimes it was over the phone if a case was terrible and Aaron needed to talk anyway.

"Dinner was wonderful, thank you."

"You are welcome. Jack had a lot of fun helping me make it. Next time we do it, he wants to do sausage as well. I told him that we could do a layer with meat and sauce and then a layer with sliced thin sausage and sauce. If he gets his way that'll be this weekend. He calls it mac and cheese with yummy sauce and meat."

Aaron laughed and pressed a kiss to Spencer's neck. Spencer dried his hands and laid them over Aaron's on his abdomen. Aaron rocked them back and forth a little. Life had been great the past few weeks. There were still fracture lines in their relationship, but they were healing a lot faster than Aaron thought that they would. There was no fear in Spencer or Jack's eyes anymore and to Aaron that was the best thing. Aaron still woke with nightmares at least twice a week, but he would check on Spencer and Jack and be able to fall asleep again real quick. Aaron was slower to heal on the inside. He still felt that fear gripping him that he would lose Jack and Spencer, but Jack was the more prominent fear. Which to Aaron was strange because Spencer was the one in danger every time that they went on a case, but Spencer could protect himself. Jack was innocent, and while Foyet taking him and his mom captive had made him distrusting of new people, he was still very outgoing.

"We haven't gone out dancing in a while," Aaron mused.

"No, we haven't. Did you want to go? That place still does the couples night on Thursdays."

"Next Thursday that we don't have a case?" Aaron asked, turning them both around to face the other direction as they rocked back and forth. Spencer laughed, and he nodded. "Good. I'll ask Jessica, and we can make soft plans."

Aaron shifted his grip on Spencer to where he was holding his left hand and stretched it out in a mimic of dancing. The laughter that bubbled from Spencer's mouth was carefree and honest, something that Aaron hadn't heard since that night. It was wonderful to hear. Aaron tightened his arm a little, pulling Spencer back into him just a little bit more. Missing the hard press of a body against him while he slept. Missing everything about having Spencer in bed with him. Spencer would come back when he was ready, and that was all that mattered to Aaron.

Jack came into the kitchen with a movie in his hand.

"Can we watch Garfield? He likes lasagna as well." Jack stopped and smiled at the two of them. Aaron was always affectionate with Spencer, but Aaron had been a lot more showing of it around Jack. To show Jack that things were getting better.

"Sure," Spencer said. He lifted his hand that Aaron didn't have a hold of and held it out for the movie. "Why don't you and your dad get the drinks while I get the movie loaded."

"Yeah," Jack said, and he started toward the fridge. Aaron placed another kiss on Spencer's neck as he pulled back. He knew that he had begun to get hard, and Spencer had to have felt it but he wasn't worried. Back when they had started to date, Aaron had tried to hide his erections from Spencer, but Spencer had just straddled his lap and sat down on Aaron's erection. Spencer had explained that they were guys and when making out, guys got hard, and it was difficult to hide it. That feeling an erection wasn't going to freak him out or make him agree to things that he didn't want to do.

Aaron was carrying his and Spencer's drinks while Jack had a two-handed grip on his cup. Jack liked to be independent, and Aaron allowed him certain things while he knew that Spencer allowed him more but watched him carefully while he did it. Jack hadn't stagnated in the aftermath of Haley's death because of Spencer. Aaron's reaction was to shelter while Spencer's was to let Jack expand and find his way. Jack had moments of upset, and there had been a few nights in the weeks that followed Haley's death where Jack had rebelled against Spencer, but those didn't last long, and Jack always came back to Spencer and asked for forgiveness. Jack loved Spencer and had got used to the young man being in his father's life since before he could really remember.

Spencer was still crouched in front of the DVD player, and it looked like he was cleaning dirt from the area in front of the tray that popped out. Aaron set both of their drinks on the stand that was at his end of the couch. The previews on the disc started, and Spencer stood up. Jack took the other end of the couch with a grin, and Spencer grinned back at him before sitting down. Spencer leaned into Aaron, nestling into his side. Aaron wrapped his arm around Spencer's shoulders, pulling him just a little tighter.

The movie ended, and Aaron knew that Jack had fallen asleep right near the end. Spencer wasn't sleeping, but he was silent and still telling Aaron that he was thinking about something.

"I'll settle Jack in bed," Aaron whispered into Spencer's ear before pressing a kiss to his lips as he got up. Spencer kissed him back briefly before he settled down into the spot that Aaron had left on the couch. Spencer's eyes were on Aaron the entire time that he was in the living room, from scooping Jack up to walking out of the room. It was different, and Aaron wasn't sure why Spencer was watching him.

Jack didn't even wake up as Aaron settled him down into bed. Aaron though stayed there for a minute to make sure that after he got up, Jack wasn't going to wake up.

Spencer's soft steps sounded outside of the room as Aaron was getting up off of Jack's bed. Aaron moved quickly through Jack's room in time to see Spencer going into the master bedroom. Aaron followed him, trusting that Spencer had set the alarm and turned everything off in the central part of the apartment. Spencer was sitting on the end of the bed, pulling his socks off and tossing them into the hamper when Aaron stepped up to the door. He didn't say anything just watched Spencer strip naked and put up his clothes. Aaron swallowed harshly as he realized that Spencer wasn't stripping to get dressed for bed because Spencer didn't sleep naked. Instead, Spencer peeled the blanket off of the bed as well as the top sheet and piled them at the end before sitting down in the middle of the bed with his legs crossed, like he usually sat when he was sitting on a desk. Spencer looked up at Aaron as he settled down the rest of the way. He smiled at Aaron, that little smile that Aaron loved before he leaned back on the bed and started to stretch.

Aaron stepped into the room and shut the door softly as he started to strip. Spencer watched Aaron as he removed each piece of his suit. Aaron was more fastidious than Spencer and hung up his jacket and pants and made sure that his socks and underwear made it into the hamper and his shirt was put with the rest of his shirts. It was a beautiful thing to step out of the closet to see Spencer on the bed and waiting for him. Spencer drew Aaron up and kissed him as he settled over the younger man on the bed.

Feeling Spencer under him, Aaron knew that he wouldn't last long. He grabbed the lube and coated his hands to slick up both of their cocks, but Spencer stopped him. Spencer grabbed a pillow and slipped it under his hips. Aaron dropped his head down to rest on Spencer's shoulder as the sight alone nearly had him coming.

"Come on, Aaron." Spencer pushed his hips up into Aaron's. "Take me."

Aaron grabbed the lube again and coated his fingers better before slipping one inside of Spencer. Spencer shifted on the bed a little as he got used to the feel of Aaron's finger inside of him. Aaron lifted his head up as he pressed two inside of Spencer to see Spencer's eyes closed in pleasure. When Spencer was relaxed enough for Aaron to not feel like he was hurting the younger man, Aaron pulled his fingers free and coated his cock.

Spencer's mouth fell open and groaned as Aaron pressed inside of him. There was no pain on Spencer's face though as Aaron pushed into him. It was heady, every time that Aaron pressed into Spencer.

"I love you," Aaron whispered into Spencer's ear as he started to thrust. Spencer gasped out something that was close enough for Aaron to a declaration of love. It was perfect. Aaron would remember this one right up there with the first time they had sex, Spencer taking the lead in that one and taking Aaron. Aaron had near cried with how gentle Spencer was.

They came at the same time, Aaron near collapsing on the younger man. Spencer kissed Aaron gently before slipping out from underneath him to clean them up. Spencer took his time cleaning himself up, and when Aaron looked down, he saw that Spencer had got out from under him just careful enough not to get any of his release on Aaron. Aaron rolled to his side to see Spencer coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and a rag in his hand to use on Aaron.

"What's with the towel?" Aaron asked, his voice bleeding his tiredness.

"I need something to go and get my pajamas from the other bedroom. I am not going out where naked, and Jack's seen us in just underwear before so a towel won't be an issue."

"Or you can wear a pair of mine."

"Your hips are wider than mine, and they always come off while I am sleeping which make me uncomfortable. I'm sure I'll be back once you get the covers all settled." Spencer leaned over Aaron and kissed him on the lips.

Aaron watched him leave the room and felt his heart beat a little faster and kept him awake until Spencer came back in. He had pajama pants on and was pulling on an old T-Shirt of Aaron's over his head. Aaron rolled onto his side, and as soon as Spencer was under the covers, he pulled Spencer into his body and inhaled deeply. Spencer made a sleepy, contented noise and wrap an arm up and around Aaron's on him.

"I love you," Aaron whispered again because he couldn't tire of saying it.

"Too," Spencer said, barely awake.

Aaron grinned into Spencer's neck and allowed himself to drop off.

* * *

Life settled down after Spencer moved back into the bedroom with Aaron and Jack got his cast off, and the cut on his head didn't scar at all. Aaron had never been happier in his life. He had thought that after Jack was born that it had been the happiest. Winter faded into spring reluctantly and a late season snow storm had been the last hurrah for Jack who had been able to go sledding since his cast was off.

"So what exactly do you think this UnSub is doing?" Morgan asked.

All eyes were on Spencer who had been buried in a book after book that had been in the victim's house. The UnSub had looked through all of them after killing the victim, so he was looking for clues. Aaron could tell when Spencer found a passage that he liked as the page turning slowed down but he was unwilling to say anything as he was over halfway through the books.

"From the outside, the UnSub's home life is perfect. No one thinks that anything is wrong. The UnSub's partner is perfect and everything looks wonderful. I'd be shocked if the home partner has ever raised their voice. There is something wrong though and it's either that there is no love or the UnSub is just staying around for a child. Something is keeping the UnSub where they are unhappy, and it's a big enough thing that they don't want to rock the boat. Maybe they don't work, and the partner is the sole support for them so leaving would mean giving up all the comfort that they know. The partner has no clue though." Spencer's gaze was centered wholly on the book that he picked up from the to be read pile, and he set the other down.

"How?" Prentiss asked. The team was looking around at each other and trying to understand what Spencer was talking about. Aaron was a little lost as well.

"Sex. I mean what's the first sign that you are upset with your lover? You start to deny sex, claiming a headache, too tired, too stressed." Spencer was still flipping through the book, trying to find any clue to anything. He hadn't looked up and didn't know that Aaron was in the room. "There is any number of reasons, but it's harder to spot it when everything, at least on one side, is perfect. Sex happens regularly, or sometimes more regular because nothing can be wrong if there is sex going on right? Then it's smaller things that lead up to nothing upsetting happening. Partner is late and doesn't call, normally that would cause an issue in even the most understanding of partners but now nothing. The partner probably doesn't even understand that something is wrong. To them, it's probably the best thing ever."

"So we tell the LEOs to look for a perfect family?" Dave asked, sounding a lot confused.

"No, because a lot of families look perfect. We just need to keep a lookout."

Aaron watched as Morgan and Prentiss looked at each other before looking at Dave. Dave though was looking at Aaron. Aaron turned to leave before anyone else could see him. He went to the bathroom and locked the door. Aaron tried not to think about Spencer describing their relationship. Spencer's speech did fit what Aaron thought about the UnSub, Spencer had just narrowed down the thoughts that Aaron hadn't put into words yet. Instead of going after perfect couples, the UnSub went after troubled ones, killing the more troubled one like they were wiping out what was wrong with themselves. The UnSub killed others because they couldn't harm the one they really wanted to.

There were red flags everywhere in Aaron's mind now. Aaron was home later than normal at least once a week over the past six weeks, but Spencer never got upset. In fact, he seemed happy to see him every single time that Aaron saw him at home.

Spencer told him about how he had gone with the flow with his mom to keep the peace when she was in an episode, doing whatever she wanted even if it made no sense came to Aaron's mind. What little he had eaten for lunch before the new crime scene had his stomach roiling, and Aaron ran to the stall to throw up. Spencer's love of Jack was the only thing that Aaron could see him staying for. He remained for Jack because Jack had already lost one parent and Spencer didn't want him to lose having Spencer in his life. Spencer had suffered from a broken home, and he was trying to stop Jack from feeling it as well.

There had to be more to it than that because he could see Spencer figuring out a way to not have sex with Aaron and it not really register. Spencer had been the one to instigate it the first time after Aaron's episode. Aaron had got hard while they had been sort of dancing but he hadn't done a thing during the movie to tempt Spencer into it.

Aaron thought about it as he sat at the toilet and tried not to throw up again and the only thing that made sense was that Spencer was trying to be the calm to not set Aaron off again. Even though Aaron was still seeing Doctor Hannes and they had also had a few sessions together. Aaron didn't even know if Spencer understood what he was doing. It was probably ingrained, and Spencer was doing it more out of habit than anything else. There was something worth saving in Spencer's mind, so he was doing it the only way that he knew how.

Pushing himself to his feet, Aaron washed his face and hands in the sink before unlocking the door. Just as he did it pushed open, and there was Spencer. Spencer looked startled but pleased to see him.

"Hotch," Spencer said with a grin on his face. Aaron stepped back to let the younger man into the bathroom. Spencer didn't move to a stall or the urinal but to the sink. He started to wash his hands. Aaron threw the lock on the door again, and it made Spencer look up at him. "When did you get back?"

"Not too long ago. Anything new learned from the books?"

"Not yet. There was a page in a book that was covered in water drops, dried obviously but I had them sent out to see if they are just water and the book was open and it got flung on it or tears. If it is tears, we might have a new in on the psychology of the UnSub."

"Why?"

"It was a children's book, _The Secret Garden_ , and it was the first time that Mary Lennox cried."

"You read that to Jack a few months ago, when you were both sick." Aaron stepped up behind Spencer, making the younger man look up at him in the mirror. There was confusion in Spencer's eyes that turned to shock when Aaron framed his hips with his hands and pulled him back to where Aaron could wrap his arms around him.

"Yes."

"He likes both of us reading to him. Me at night and you during the day. He thinks you remembering a book and being able to recite it from memory is the best thing in the world." Aaron let his head drop and pressed a kiss to Spencer's neck. "Do you know what I think is the best thing about you?"

"What?" Spencer asked, his voice cracking a little bit.

"That you love me, despite everything that has happened to both of us in our lives. That you love Jack so much even though he is not yours biologically. I know that we have been busy lately with work and everything with the doctor visits for Jack's arm and my own visits. I'll call Jessica when we get to the hotel for the night and see how she feels about a weekend away with Jack. We can book them someplace close but where they will both have fun, and then you and I can reconnect again." Aaron watched Spencer's eyes as he spoke and now that he was looking for it, he saw it. The hesitance and the fear while he thought about what he wanted to say. It was there just a few seconds, too quick for most to notice it but Aaron did. So he upped the ante. "Or we can go away, and they can stay here. Me and you and maybe a B&B somewhere. We can visit one of those places we've talked about wanting to go back to without a case."

Aaron put more emotion into the second one, and Spencer nodded as soon as he stopped talking.

"Sure, whatever you want. I like either. JJ's with an officer picking up dinner. I guess there is this place that makes burgers that are the best things in the world. One officer said they were better than sex. Morgan wants to try it cause he thinks his sex is the best thing in the world."

Aaron wasn't sure if one of the options upset Spencer more than the other, but he liked the idea of getting away from it all. Not having the distractions of being at home. Spencer could hide easily at home, and everything would stay the same.

"I'll see what our weekend not on call is that's coming up and book everything. You don't have to lift a finger."

"But I can do it, Aaron."

"I want to surprise you, Spencer."

Aaron barely caught the sound of distress that came from Spencer's throat. He ignored it though. Aaron knew that if he brought it all to Spencer's face right then, Spencer would hunker down and fight him. Spencer had been slowly moving to where he did everything and Aaron had never caught it. Spencer was caring for them instead of all of them caring for each other. Jack had his chores, and while a few of them had been put aside due to a cast making it harder to do, he had gained other tasks. Spencer though was the one to help him, and Aaron was left to do what he wanted. Spencer had been doing all of the cooking, the cleaning was done before he got home most evenings or before Aaron woke up. Spencer had always been an early riser, so Aaron hadn't thought a thing about him being awake every morning before him.

Dave was waiting for them when they exited the bathroom minutes later.

"JJ's back with dinner," Dave said.

"Good. I'm starved," Aaron said. He looked around and saw that no one was around, so he trailed his hand down Spencer's back before settling it on his lower back until they hit the bullpen.

"You and Reid are sharing onion rings and fries," Dave said with a grin on his face.

"That's fine," Spencer replied as he started with earnest toward the room the BAU was in.

"You look better. You were white as a sheet before you fled."

"He didn't mean for me to hear that."

"Things not as good as you thought?" Dave sounded concerned.

"I'm going to fix that."

"You know he is going to over-identify with this UnSub. I think maybe he should be kept here with JJ."

"I think you might be right, but we need a good reason for him to stay back." Aaron opened the door to the room and let Dave enter first. Spencer was seated on the loveseat, and there were two styrofoam containers beside him, and one open on his lap. Aaron saw two burgers in that one. There was also a drink cup that had Pep wrote on it beside Spencer and one with ST. Aaron's sweet tea. Aaron took the seat beside Spencer and was handed his drink and then the box with a burger in it. Spencer opened up the top box between them and set his burger in the lid before holding it out to Aaron to take the fries inside. Aaron took half before Spencer placed it in his lap and opened up the box with the onion rings.

"Huh," Morgan said.

Aaron looked up at him and saw that JJ and Prentiss were staring at them as well.

"What?" Spencer asked after swallowing his bite of burger.

"When did Reid start to get pepper jack cheese on his burgers?" Prentiss asked.

"About two years ago," JJ said.

"That's when they started to share fries and onion rings as well," Morgan said. His eyes darted between Spencer and Aaron a few times before settling on Aaron. "About a month after Hotch signed his divorce papers."

"Can we discuss this after we finish this case. You'll have Aaron and I captive audiences for the entire flight back," Spencer said, his tone was no-nonsense.

"Yes, and you had better bet we will be talking about this."

Aaron felt JJ and Morgan's eyes on him the entire time.

Seven hours later, the team was boarding the jet. The UnSub had been caught by a returning teenager in the middle of killing her mother. It had been a woman whose home life fit precisely to the profile that Spencer gave. The husband had been shocked at what was being done by his spouse and him never knowing.

"Two years?" Morgan asked.

"I loved Haley even after I knew that she was having affairs. I kept trying to make things work even though I knew that they never would. Spencer started to work on files with me in the evenings. I think at first it was to not go home and feel tempted but after a while it was our thing. I was married, and I honored that marriage even though my wife did not. I started to fall in love with Spencer during those nights. I told him the day that I signed my papers that I wasn't going to get what I wanted. He came up after I signed then and tried to console me. I don't know what urged me to do it, but I asked him out. He was stunned but agreed." Aaron looked at Spencer who was seated on the inside seat of the table, besides Aaron. He was looking out the window though and not at Morgan who was across from Aaron. JJ was seated across from Spencer with Dave and Prentiss taking up the couch.

"Strauss was informed when I moved in with Aaron," Spencer said with a grin on his face, finally looking at the team. “New York happened, and you and Aaron were already butting heads, then Anthrax, Canada, Foyet. All horrible times to tell you guys that Aaron and I were together. I moved in with him after we were both released from the hospital. When it was finally time that I could function on my own and he could as well, it didn't make sense to leave. We had a good routine, and Jack liked having me there."

"So weeks ago, you didn't have a stomach bug at the same time that Jack broke his arm?"

"No, I stayed with Jack because he wanted me to."

"And Strauss had no problem?"

"We didn't file the paperwork until after Jack was home and it was couched as Jack didn't want Spencer to leave. I never confirmed the relationship and had put it as what it was. Spencer and I took care of each other. She told me I was a good father for doing whatever it took to make Jack happy. I love my son, and I'll do anything to make him happy, and that's well known around the office. I also come across as very straight-laced, so I'm sure that while she has her doubts about why Spencer and I are living together, she's not going to come out and ask if I am in a sexual relationship with him."

"I can't believe it was cheese," Morgan said with a laugh.

"Cheese?" Spencer asked.

"I hadn't noticed you getting pepper jack on your sandwiches before until I watched you straighten it on your burger. I realized then that you always got some kind of yellow cheese before and for a while, you had been getting white. Hotch is the only other member of the team that does pepper jack. It kind of all slotted into place. You two are usually the first in and last out, so we never saw you leave or arrive together."

"I knew he was getting pepper jack but never put two and two together. Or the splitting of fries and onion rings. Or any number of things that involve the meals that I get and the changing of both of their habits."

"No one was expecting this," Prentiss pointed out.

"Well," Morgan and Dave said at the same time. Aaron looked at Morgan in shock.

"You two have got each other from the beginning. The Hankel case proved that and the aftermath. I know it was Hotch that helped you when none of us noticed what was going on until long after. We live in each other's pockets, but you two have never presented each other for getting into each other's business. You two are perfect for each other." It was very evident to Aaron that Morgan was leaving a few things out that he wanted to say. He would probably tell them in private.

"If you guys want a night alone without bothering Jessica, I'd be willing to watch Jack."

"Funny you should bring that up, I just got Spencer to agree to a weekend away. I was going to ask Jessica but if she doesn't want to watch Jack full time you two could swap off."

"Will was planning some house things for our next weekend rotation off, Jack would be no problem for the entire weekend. It'll help with Henry. Jack likes to watch Henry."

"Jack asked me two weeks ago how he would go about getting a little sibling," Spencer said with a smile on his face. He laughed a little. "It was interesting as we had to have the talk that men can't have kids without a lady involved."

"Really?"

"Don't worry I kept it very appropriate for his age and not me at his age."

Morgan started to laugh, so Aaron glared at him. Morgan didn't stop. "I'm sorry, but I just realized how technical Jack's introduction to the birds and the bees is going to be."

JJ and Prentiss started to laugh as well while Dave just shook his head with a grin on his face.

"When is the next rotation off?" Aaron asked, looking at JJ.

"Two weeks. It's our long one as well, the Friday through Monday off." JJ was grinning.

Aaron started to plan. That would give them a longer distance that they could go. They could get back late Monday morning and recover from the trip. Aaron liked Maine and Vermont, but he was sure that Spencer would protest it being too cold.

The conversation turned to other topics and what the rest of the team was going to do over their long weekend. Spencer settled in with his case file, working it up. Aaron stayed where he was and laid his hand on Spencer's thigh. Spencer had startled when Aaron did it and glanced at Aaron before going back to his file. After a few minutes, Spencer went back to his normal speed of working and was either used to Aaron touching him on the jet or ignoring it.

Aaron thought about what they were going to do for dinner. He had driven in with Spencer the morning of the case since they were going straight to the jet. No one had batted an eyebrow at them arriving together. Early cases like that someone had picked up Spencer on the way. That had started after someone had to go and get him when the train had stopped due to a malfunction and the jet had been delayed waiting for him to get there. Morgan had found where he was and gone to get him.

"We can get everything filed and then go home since we didn't get sleep last night."

"A day off? Good," Dave said.

"A day to recover. Tomorrow back at the normal time. I've already approved it with Strauss."

Aaron watched the team as they worked on closing out the case file at the office. Aaron's paperwork never ended, but he wasn't going to take any home with him and he wasn't going to let Spencer either. They could go home and get lunch before winding down. Aaron might try and talk Spencer into taking a nap with him. An alarm could be set. Jack would enjoy both of them picking him up from pre-school.

Spencer was done first, which was no shock to anyone. Aaron watched him sort of pack up and start to pack several files into his bag before settling in with a few more at his desk. Morgan came out of his office at some point to bother Spencer but got him a fresh coffee for the trouble. It turned somber after a few minutes and Aaron could tell that Morgan was talking to him about the relationship.

JJ though came right to Aaron. She carried a stack of files with her, but when she didn't hand them over, he knew it was a ruse.

"He's been different the past few weeks. More subdued and less cheerful."

"We had a rocky patch in the wake of Jack's broken arm. We are getting back on track though. I love him, JJ. I do. There isn't a lot of things that I wouldn't do for someone that I loved. I'm seeing a therapist and dealing with my issues."

"Good. I didn't connect you as the reason that Spencer was changed. It had started before the divorce, so I pushed that off. I didn't realize the basis had started so early. He promised me earlier when he dropped off a file from the desk that was supposed to be on my desk. He assures me that you are a wonderful beau for him. There is something though in his eyes."

"I didn't say the rocky patch was over. I am working to help repair what's wrong in the relationship, and so is he. We are good, and we will stay good."

"Good. I would hate to have to have Morgan kick your ass so that I can actually take you out."

Aaron smiled at JJ. She looked out into the bullpen.

"He always seems so lonely lately."

"I'm working on that."

"So now that you two are an out couple, which is a little shocking as I never pictured you swinging that way, are things going to change?"

"I buried it deep when I was a teenager and a young adult. I buried it very deep after marrying Haley. I don't think I can see myself loving another woman after Haley. Spencer told me once that she was the love of my young life and that growing up had changed that love. He never said, but he talked around that he hopes to be the love of my older life. If something were to happen, JJ, and I lost him, whether, to someone else, or just the breaking of our relationship, I don't think I'd love again, male or female. I don't want things to change much, but I know that some will."

"Wow. I'm not sure if that would make Morgan happy or not. He'd probably feel like he would need to kick Spencer's ass if Spencer left you."

"He won't though." Aaron knew his tone wasn't a happy one.

"What?"

"I don't see him leaving me until Jack is eighteen. He loves Jack too much to even let Jack think that he is leaving him. He doesn't want to become his father. If I thought for a moment that being with me was hurting him, I would make a legal document that gave him visitation and parenting rights."

"Damn. But then two years of having Jack with you on the weekends and when you could, I can see it. What did Haley think?

"She wasn't keen on it at first but after she saw the way that Spencer was with Jack during the divorce proceedings she relented. We did a lunch with our lawyers and Spencer, and Jessica sat with Jack at a different table. Do you remember when Jack was sick and Haley didn't want to seem like the overprotective mother and take him to the ER over the weekend? We were on the case in Arkansas?"

"I do. I never heard anything more, but I know that Haley took Jack to the ER."

"Yes, she did. Spencer convinced her too. He called her all on his own and talked her into it. Jack had atypical symptoms, but Spencer recognized enough to understand what was going on with him. Reading obscure things sometimes is good."

"Is the weekend getaway to get back to you and him in the face of whatever happened? That is not me asking. You two are adults, and your relationship is yours, even if Morgan doesn't fully think so when it comes to Spence."

"I think that he is the main reason why he's not wanted to tell the team, Morgan's reaction. Spencer is very private. I think that he would rather never talk about anything truly personal with anyone."

"Except you." JJ stood up and smiled at Aaron. "You have always been different to him."

* * *

The B&B that Aaron had found was perfect for them. Each room was two rooms, besides the bathroom. There was the bedroom but also a sitting room so that guests could get alone time and not have to stay on the bed. There were several nature walks and even a few that were self-guided with a map.

Spencer was in the shower washing the grime of the trip off of himself while Aaron put up their things. He was going to join Spencer in the shower as soon as he had most things put up. Spencer's showers could be timed down to the second, so Aaron knew how long he had.

The bathroom was full of steam when Aaron entered it and started to strip out of his clothes. He opened the glass door, and as soon as the blast of cold air hit Spencer's back, he spun around. Spencer's eyes were wide in shock before they narrowed to see who had joined him. Spencer's allergies were acting up, so he was wearing his glasses, which was fine for Aaron. He liked Spencer in his glasses.

"I'm almost done," Spencer said like it would make Aaron wait.

"I know." Aaron took the two steps that kept them apart and reached for the loofah that Spencer had bought just of the trip. It would be tossed at the end of the trip so that it didn't get musty smelling if wet when they left. Aaron had never thought about that before, but he had started to do it for cases not long after he and Spencer began to date. Aaron grabbed the body wash and poured Spencer's preferred amount onto the loofah and started to lather it up.

"That one is mine," Spencer pointed out.

Aaron grinned and let out a short chuckle. "I know. Turn around so I can get your back."

"I can get it."

"I know that you can get it, Spencer but I want to do it." Aaron motioned with a finger that Spencer needed to turn around. Spencer stared at Aaron for a few seconds before he did as Aaron asked.

Aaron washed Spencer's back with care before he dropped to his knees to get his ass and legs. Spencer was calm, and his body relaxed as Aaron did what he was doing. When Aaron was done with his backside, Aaron grabbed his hip to turn him. Spencer looked down at Aaron, and when Aaron tapped the top of his foot, he lifted it.

Spencer's body started to shake as Aaron worked on the front of his hips, his cock was flaccid, so it wasn't arousal. Aaron looked up to see Spencer crying. Aaron dropped the loofah and stood up to wrap his arms around Spencer.

"Spencer?" Aaron asked, but all it did was make Spencer sob harder. Aaron held Spencer as the younger man cried.

Spencer was mostly asleep on his feet, so Aaron held him up and used his loofah instead of the one on the floor to finished scrubbing Spencer before washing them both off. Spencer was like a rag doll as Aaron dried him off before helping him to the bed before drying himself off.

Aaron slipped into the bed naked, and as soon as he was close, Spencer wrapped himself around him. Aaron tucked him in tight as he felt Spencer start to cry again. Aaron wondered if Spencer had cried at all that weekend that Aaron had yelled at him. If he had just hidden all of his emotions away and hadn't dealt with them. Aaron hoped that was what he was doing now was purging them.

Spencer fell asleep on Aaron's shoulder, tucked into Aaron's body as close as he could get. Aaron stayed awake though, thinking about his plans for the short holiday that they were doing. He hadn't expected this, and it kind of threw a wrench into everything. Aaron wasn't upset though. Instead, he was kind of happy. Aaron wouldn't have to push to get Spencer to see that he was going to hurt himself in the long run.

Aaron felt Spencer waking up just as the dinner hour hit. Aaron's stomach growled once, and he was sure it was what had woke up Spencer. Spencer nuzzled his face into Aaron's shoulder.

"We are naked," Spencer said.

"We are."

"Why are we naked?" Spencer asked.

"You fell asleep before I could dress you while you were at least willing to help a little." Aaron felt Spencer tense at his words, but he didn't let the younger man go. "So we need to talk."

"I guess."

"There is no guessing, Spencer. I heard you that day, giving the profile of the killer. I heard you, and it didn't take long to realize that not only were you describing the UnSub but you were describing yourself as well."

Spencer went lax in Aaron's arms, but Aaron's didn't let go of him.

"It wasn't until we were in the shower that I realized what was going on. Yes, you love me, and you love Jack, but you have been sacrificing your happiness to make sure that you don't lose us. I didn't realize it until that case. I never want you to do that again. If sacrificing what makes you happy is the only thing that keeps us together, I don't want it. I don't want this Spencer that has been around for the past two months. I want the Spencer from before. You don't need to take care of me and sacrifice everything that you are to do it." Aaron rolled them to where they were both on their sides, and he could look Spencer in the face. Spencer's eyes kept darting away, but he did look at Aaron a few times. "I fell in love with you when you were snarky, sarcastic, and called me on my shit when I upset you. I don't need you placating me with sex to make sure that I don't notice that something is wrong. I don't need you cleaning up and cooking and doing everything for me. We work the same amount of hours, and you will kill yourself trying to be a house spouse as well as an agent. I've noticed the bags under your eyes getting darker."

"I don't want to lose you," Spencer whispered.

"And you won't."

Aaron pushed Spencer onto his back and got on top of him, grinning down at Spencer. Spencer tried to raise up on his arms, but Aaron grabbed them before pinning them to the bed. Aaron braced his arms so that he could lean down and take Spencer's mouth in a kiss. Aaron poured every single ounce of emotion he had for Spencer into that kiss. All of the love, the lust, the passion, and even his fear at losing Spencer. Spencer was good at understanding words when it came to literature, but when the words were used in conjunction with him, he had trouble. Actions spoke louder than words and Aaron knew that this action was going to be hard to ignore for Spencer.

Pulling back, Aaron only moved enough to where he could just make out Spencer's features.

"I want to live the rest of my life with you, Spencer. Someday, when the time is right, I'm going to put a wedding ring on your finger, and you are going to legally adopt Jack. We might even talk about adopting a sibling for Jack. This is it for me, Spencer. The last relationship that I want to have. You are it for me."

"Aaron," Spencer uttered, and Aaron understood the emotion behind the way his name was said.

"I've worked through that fear that I have that I am going to lose Jack. I worked through the emotions that I was blocking from the death of my high school sweetheart. I've worked through the fear I have of losing you to my own anger. I don't want a house husband. I want you. I want a quirky genius. I want a snarky lover. I want you, just you. Forever."

Spencer leaned up and crushed their lips together. Aaron let go of Spencer's hands and let the genius touch. It was perfect, their coupling that followed. They touched and kissed like they were precious and perfect, and for Aaron, it was the best sex of his life.

Aaron watched Spencer take a nap after, neither of them decent for the food that was coming but Aaron didn't care. Aaron would throw on the sinfully soft robe that was hanging in the closet and answer the door. Aaron chose a breakfast platter for each of them for dinner. Easy to eat and not too bad if eaten cold.

This he could do forever.

# Six Years Later

"I'm sorry, Agent Hotchner but only you and your son are going into witness protection. Agent Reid has not been a target of Peter Lewis."

"He's only shown up when Spencer and Jack are together, and I am not around, taking the thought that Lewis is only after Jack is negligent at best and homophobic at worst." Aaron was pissed, and he wasn't holding back. He looked at Cruz who looked very upset, and Aaron wasn't sure if it was because of what he had found out in the aftermath of Peter Lewis stalking Spencer and Jack or that WitSec officers were refusing to protect one of his agents."

"I think that this matter is better handled by people with cooler heads," one of the agents said. Aaron didn't even remember his name.

"And I think that the people would like to know that WitSec only protects people who fit the description of what they think is a couple."

"Aaron," Spencer said.

Aaron turned to see Spencer standing there with the newly appointed Director of the FBI. The man smiled at Aaron and nodded before looking at the WitSec agents with a deadly grin.

"You are seriously not going to put Doctor Reid under your protection?"

"No, Sir. He does not meet the criteria."

"You don't really think that Peter Lewis would leave Doctor Reid alone after Agent Hotchner and Jack go into hiding, do you? I think that he would make it his life's work to torture Doctor Reid. So if you will not protect him, you are free to leave."

"What?" the lead agent, Smith said, and he stood up.

"Agent Hotchner, Doctor Reid, and their son Jack will be under the protection of Interpol and their own witness protection people."

"Now, wait a moment."

"Aaron, please come with Spencer and me."

Aaron stood up and looked at Spencer. Aaron had asked him to stay with Jack, but it seemed that his husband had a different definition of staying still. Spencer held out his hand for Aaron, the one that wore Aaron's ring and Aaron took it to let Spencer lead him wherever they were going.

Back to the BAU bullpen was not where Aaron thought they were going to go and not into the roundtable room. There on the screen was Prentiss.

"Within hours a jet will be landing to take us overseas where we will be hidden within Interpol."

"You knew that even though we were married, they were never going to take you."

"I think that there is something else going on and John agrees."

"John," Aaron said, and a lot of things slid into place. Cruz looked at the three of them as Prentiss finally turned around to look at them.

"Hotch, I'll arrive within the day to take over as Unit Chief while you are gone. If you agree to that."

"Of course," Aaron said as he nodded. He couldn't think of a better replacement for him in the short term. Prentiss's face disappeared from the screen, and then it was just the three of them. Aaron looked at the Director and saw that he was looking at Spencer. Spencer who was focused on a document in front of him.

"You would like to tell him what he'll be doing during his months in hiding?" The Director asked.

Spencer looked up and looked at the Director before looking at Aaron.

"Prentiss found a job for me working for Interpol under my assumed name that is. It will mainly be remote work done from an office in the flat that we've acquired in London. I will sometimes have to go to the office and work but it won't be more than about once a week and never for all day. As for you...I didn't want to pick and then John, and I were talking, and maybe you would like to try to be a stay at home dad?"

Spencer looked nervous where he had looked excited before that. He was second-guessing himself and his thoughts. Aaron had talked to Spencer about being worn out with the job, not feeling burnt out just worn out, especially in the face of being taken a prisoner in his own home orchestrated as a ruse put on by Peter Lewis. Seeing the fear in Jack's eyes and knowing that Spencer would be upset with himself for not being there. For Jack having to watch his father being taken away in cuffs with JJ and Henry watching. Jack had been clingy since then and while both Aaron and Spencer understood, it was wearing thin on the both of them. Then to have Peter Lewis start to stalk Spencer and Jack because no matter what some of the FBI thought and it seemed WitSec thought, Lewis had to be after Spencer as well or he would have been caught stalking Jack outside of school or at soccer practices with Jessica.

"Jessica's company after a chat with the Director of the FBI is allowing her to take an extended leave of absence and holding her job for her. She will be relocating as well to London and taking up a position inside of MI6, same low-level kind of thing that she does now. Roy will be under watch by an Interpol agent who is on a mental health vacation after being at the hands of terrorists. He'll move into the facility with Roy."

"You've thought of all of this in seven hours?"

"Actually the thinking of it took just an hour it was making sure it was doable for the other six. After hiding a murderer in the program, one would think that they were a little more flexible."

"And how did you get into this, Sir?" Aaron asked. He was pretty sure that he knew the answer to that, but he didn't want to assume.

"I have a soft spot for the BAU and for those who try and recover from horrible circumstances that life throws at them. . Especially those who try and help themselves before the problem gets worse." The Director pushed himself up into the seat he was seated at and pulled something from his pocket. He tossed it at Aaron.

It was a sobriety coin. Aaron was right that it was Spencer's sponsor. Aaron slid the coin back across the table toward him.

"I have a team sanitizing your place now. Everything inside is going to be boxed up and brought here for storage. I will be the only one that will hold the key to access the room it's going to go in. Even the furniture. Lewis isn't going to get a hold of your things. Once you land in London, no one here is going to know where you are. Not even Agent Prentiss. You will disappear into the system. Spencer is going to do analysis of crimes for Interpol on a small scale or something like that. It was a little over my head as far as what he was doing. He used a lot of words that I know but together, not really understanding the significance. When this is all over, and I will make sure that it's over as soon as possible, you will have three options, Aaron."

"Sir?" Aaron asked.

"We can process the best retirement package that we can give you. You can come back and take over as Unit Chief again. Or we can get you a job anywhere inside the FBI that you want. Even if you retire, you can still teach classes if you want. Or you can just teach. You can basically write your own ticket."

"Because of what happened?"

"That was part of it. I didn't know about that until you were already in an interrogation room. You've served the FBI with distinction since you came out of the Academy. You are an exemplary agent who I would like to keep, but I can understand after everything that you have been through in this job and the way that the agency has nearly turned it's back on you each time why you might want to not be a part of it."

"Thank you, Sir." Aaron looked at Spencer, and he saw the strong man that he had grown into. Aaron knew that it was because of Aaron and his support of him in the job and life. The Director stood up and exited the room, leaving them alone. Aaron scooted back and patted the table top in front of him. Spencer shot up out of his chair and sat on the table in front of Aaron. Aaron grabbed Spencer’s legs and set them on either side of his legs, on the lip below the arm part of the chair.

"I love you," Aaron said.

"I love you, too," Spencer said it like he expected there to be a but after Aaron's statement.

"You told me after I was taken a prisoner that you would follow me into retirement from the FBI if I wanted you to. You offered to find us jobs wherever I wanted. I told you to think about what you really wanted before you made that decision. I know that you love this job and even though your faith is a little broken, I know deep down that you don't want to give this up. You staying here while I go elsewhere isn't going to make me resent you. I've had a good run in this. Its the longest I have ever stayed in a single job. Hell, this is your first real job. That you have stayed at it this long is amazing. I can understand if you did want out but you don't. You want to make me happy, and I understand that but Spencer you being happy will make me happy. So why don't we use this as a sounding period? Let's see if I can really be a stay at home dad and if you will survive doing whatever it is that you are going to be doing."

"Okay. I did some research on football leagues in the area where I was told we were going to be placed. I think Jack's really going to like it. We can buy a lot of books on the difference between the UK and American rules and get Jack a trainer if needed."

"From FBI computers?"

"Don't worry. Garcia made sure that I didn't leave a single cookie anywhere. Even she couldn't hack what I was doing on the laptop."

"That new one that you got?" Aaron remembered the laptop that he had got through the CIA. As part of a new set of protocols for him and the things that he did for them. From what Aaron knew it was encrypted by the NSA. Aaron didn't ask. It was the only thing that Aaron never asked about.

"Yes." Spencer cocked his head o the side as he looked at Aaron. "You didn't react like I thought you would when I spotted Lewis for the second time."

"You were afraid I would tell you that you were stupid again. I know. I saw you flinch as soon as I opened my mouth. The look of relief on your face was what calmed me down as I started to work myself up. I know this is the first time that anything remotely bad has happened to Jack since that night I screamed at you. I guess I wasn't expecting you to react like that but then I calmed myself down from a freak-out. We've both grown in that way." Aaron crooked his finger, and Spencer leaned down, bracing his hands on the arm of the chair. Aaron kept the kiss chaste as they were still at work. "I can't see straight when I think of him hurting you. That he made me see myself shooting you as you came in the door was enough to make me seek help again."

"I knew that WitSec wouldn't take me with you. Agent Anders had a few things to say about agents who are married on the same team when I saw him a few weeks back at the conference you roped me into giving."

Aaron laughed, but he didn't feel sorry. He knew that Spencer would do it if he asked nice enough but Aaron liked seeing what he could get Spencer to agree to post-coital. There were very few things Spencer put his foot down on. Aaron stood up and cupped the back of Spencer's head to give him another kiss as his other hand raised up to where he could tweak a nipple. Spencer hissed and reared back, glaring. That was Spencer's wedding present to Aaron, well one of them and the time it had taken to heal had been worth it because Spencer' nipples had been sensitive before. Aaron now could almost make him orgasm just by licking, nipping, and playing with them with his fingers. After the piercings had healed, Aaron had made Spencer come untouched in his pants on their wedding night a little over two years before.

Spencer getting shot in the neck had made Aaron want to bind Spencer to him in every single way possible.

"You are horrible," Spencer said as he slipped off the table and out of Aaron's arms.

"But you love me anyway."

Aaron watched Spencer leave the roundtable room laughing. Running wasn't in Aaron's makeup, but he understood that it was the best thing for them. If anything happened to Spencer or Jack, Aaron was pretty sure that he would probably go on a spree. Suicide by cop sounded pretty good in that scenario.

When Aaron finally pulled himself out of the roundtable room the bullpen was packed. Morgan and Savannah were standing around where Morgan's desk used to be a very long time ago. Will, Henry, and Michael was with JJ. Anderson was sitting beside Spencer at his desk. Spencer had Hank in his arms, ignoring everything around him. He knew that this was goodbye, at least for now.

"Sir," Garcia said.

Aaron started down the steps and went right for Spencer, ignoring those around them. Jack came running in with Tara. It was hard to think of her as Lewis at any point anymore, so she was Tara to Aaron and Aaron figured most of the team.

"This our bon voyage?" Aaron asked with a smile.

"Yes, Sir," Garcia said with a watery smile.

"You didn't think that Pretty Boy would leave without us saying goodbye did you?" Morgan asked.

"No."

"I've not told them the good news," Spencer said. He shifted Hank to one arm to let Henry crawl into his lap. "I'm going to miss you so much, Hen."

"I'm going to miss you too."

"What's the good news?" Dave asked.

"I've already found a replacement Unit Chief for the time that I am gone," Aaron said, and he saw the distrust in the eyes as it sunk in that they didn't have a choice in it. "She will be arriving from Jolly Old England as soon as she can get here."

"Emily?" Garcia asked.

"Yes. Prentiss is going to take my spot. I don't have a replacement for Spencer yet, but I'm sure that she and Dave will find someone good for that."

Aaron knew that everyone in the room wanted reassurances that they would be back and be back soon but he couldn't guarantee that. There were no promises, and no one was promised tomorrow.

* * *

Arriving in London had been one of the low points in Aaron's life. He wasn't looking forward to hiding away. He couldn't even try and help Jack's team with what the British called football. He had to stay low and blend in. That didn't mean that he couldn't help Jack be a good player.

Spencer took to his job like a duck to water and Aaron took weeks to get himself used to being at home for extended periods alone. The picking up and dropping off Jack at school though made it all worth it.

Aaron had come home one day after seeing Jack off to school via the tube to find that Spencer had signed Aaron up for classes on things that he had always talked about wanting to do. There were cooking classes every Tuesday and Thursday that covered a broad spread of nationalities. There was even a writing workshop that was an hour long every Wednesday morning. Other things Spencer had not signed him up for but had printed out for him to decide if he wanted to do it.

Spencer wasn't able to start work from home until after he had gone through orientation and had learned Interpol's systems. Which took a month. Enough time for Aaron to go slightly insane from being home alone for too long.

Aaron disabled the security system to the flat before entering. The system was insane but easy enough for even Jack to work and not mess it up. Aaron had never seen anything like it, so he didn't figure it was commercially available.

The smell of taco meat assaulted Aaron's nose as he entered. The writing class had ended, but Aaron had wandered London a little, learning it. Aaron went to the kitchen to see that it wasn't lunch but something in the crockpot. That had not been out when Aaron had left with Jack. There were soft tortillas on the counter, and when Aaron opened up the fridge, he saw the rest of the fixings for tacos.

"Aaron?" Spencer called out from the back of the flat where the two bedrooms were. Aaron shut the fridge and started back that way. Spencer was naked on the bed when Aaron opened the bedroom door. He stepped inside and closed it quickly, even though they were home alone.

Spencer had his knees bent, and Aaron could see the glistening around his hole. Aaron ripped his pullover off but only opened up his jeans enough to get his cock out before he took off his socks. Spencer tossed the lube at him, and Aaron spread it on his cock before sinking onto the bed. Aaron slid his cock inside of Spencer before he leaned up to kiss him.

"Too long," Spencer panted as Aaron started to slowly thrust into him. Too much stress over the move, Lewis, Aaron being bored, Jack adjusting to a new everything meant that full out sex had gone by the wayside. Lazy handjobs to each other were about it.

"Yes," Aaron hissed.

Spencer shifted his hips to where Aaron could sink just that much deeper inside of him.

"I'm sure you noticed I have dinner prepped and lunch will be delivered around noon. The only thing we are doing today is fucking and cuddling, at least until Jack gets home. Then it's going to be a movie."

Aaron nodded, trailing kisses down Spencer's neck. Not getting out of bed except to shower and maybe have sex in said shower seemed like a good plan. It was needed for both of them.

"I love you," Aaron whispered into Spencer's skin. "No matter how grumpy I get, remember that and that anything to protect you and Jack is worth me having trouble adjusting."

"I'll be home more now. The secure line will be installed tomorrow. I'm officially allowed to work from home."

"Good. Afternoon delight sounds perfect to me."

"I still have to work."

"You'll work easily even with me home. Maybe I can crawl under the desk and suck you while you work like you teased me with all the time."

Aaron felt more than heard Spencer's shuddery breath at the image. They would make this work because they had to. The loss of any of them was not worth aaron doing something stupid and outing them, Aaron needed to find himself something to make himself happy despite everything else.

"We'll find him, Aaron and we will go home and figure ourselves out."

"I know." Aaron ducked his head even more and licked at Spencer's nipple, his tongue catching on the ring there. Spencer arched up, and he came between them.

"Bastard," Spencer panted as he tried to force himself to calm down. Aaron didn't answer, he just kept on licking the nipple before switching to the other one. Aaron pulled out of Spencer. Spencer whined at him, but Aaron didn't go back inside of his husband. Instead, he kissed down Spencer's chest and nipped at his belly button before cleaning up Spencer. Spencer cock twitched every single time that Aaron licked it.

"You said we were fucking and cuddling. It's not my problem that you come like a teenager at prom when your nipples are played with. What's the saying, Spencer?" Aaron asked before he wrapped Spencer's legs around his shoulders. Aaron dipped down to lick where his cock had been. He smelled where Spencer had showered, and the last time they had done a day in bed, Spencer had cleaned himself, thoroughly, so Aaron hoped he had this time as well. Aaron had plans to lick him and then fuck him before finally coming inside of him. After that Aaron would clean him up again.

The moan that Spencer let out told Aaron that he had cleaned himself out to where Aaron could play with him all day long. Spencer had been busy and naughty while Aaron had been out. He loved his husband for it.

"Lie back and think of England, Spencer."

# The End


End file.
